The Lovely Bones Trailer

Peter Jackson's The Lovely Bones Film Trailer

I was immediately disappointed upon turning on this video. I had often heard that Peter Jackson had lost a lot of weight after King Kong and my hopes were high that he had injected it into his skull to give himself more brain power, but his normal-sized head seemed to make this theory quite impossible. Minor setback, in the scheme of things, though. Now I have to say "SPECIAL EFFECTS WIZARD Peter Jackson has injected all of his fat into his brain and has managed to stay fashionably small-headed". If I were really ambitious I would work something about his ego in there.

As we move along in the trailer, we notice his English accent. I'm pretty sure he's from Australia (accents?), but this accent must be a side-effect of the brain thing I was just talking about.



Also, I don't think I'm allowed to have a crush on Saoirse Ronan for another three years. In the meantime, I'll covertly hit on her like I do with women that find me repulsive. She could be one of the youngest ever best actress nominees for this film, and I mean that. Furthermore, I can buy you cigarettes.

As far as the actual film, I continue to be disappointed that they didn't just glue a mustache on Ryan Gosling and have him play the fucking role, considering that Mark Wahlberg has done nothing but disappoint me for a few years now.

Stanley Tucci, a guy who looks a lot like a child-murderer, is unrecognizably normal-looking and hair-tastic for his role as a child-murderer.

And Susan Sarandon is still trying to win a second Oscar (keep swinging, girl!). I always expect her to smash some plates whenever she's in a movie.

But what's really selling me on this, and the reason I've watched this thing five times already, is the scenes depicting heaven. They look mind-blowing. Don't take my word for it, though.