I think I should preface this. This is sort of a difficult review to write. Since everyone has seen this movie, and seen it many times, every observation I make is going to be repetitive. But since I just spent two and a half hours watching this film, I feel like I should at least try and make that time count for something. Here's how I'll justify this to myself: America caught Pirate Fever(!) when this film came out, so much so that the sequels broke all kinds of records. But the overwhelming position on the sequels was that they couldn't begin to live up to the mythological greatness of the first film. So with a lifetime of disappointment sapping the youthful enthusiasm of yore from my eyes between my first viewing and my most recent viewing, I present you a revised perspective on one of America's least durable film franchises. Let's start with the obvious stuff and get that out of the way. The fact that it took this film to make Johnny Depp a household name is about as alien to me as the mystery of Daniel Day-Lewis's strangely hypnotic hunchback. If Ed Wood had made him the star it should have made him, we could have had an extra ten years of Johnny Depp doing crazy shit and getting Oscar nominations for it. Thank you, filmgoing public, for only allowing us to see Johnny Depp at the tail-end of his peek.
And make no mistake about it: this is the Johnny Depp show. This film exists only to showcase his considerable, nay, monumentous, talent. It's a shame that there had to be other actors in this film, though, because most of them are pretty bad in their own right, but even the ones doing good work look like eight-year-olds trying to purchase alcohol compared to Johnny Depp.
For one, no one seems to have a handle on this accent they're weilding. They all come off as having just watched a lot of Masterpiece Theater in preperation for their roles, and they're confused when confronted with scenes that require them to do more than look windswept and swing swords around. Shit, they even look confused in those scenes. No one looks like they remember where they are. Even Johnny Depp looks confused, although he plays it to his advantage.
It must be nice to be Orlando Bloom. On the days that you don't feel like working, you can send a paper figure (probably fashioned from your deposit slips) taped to a Popsicle stick and not even your looking-windswept scenes will suffer.
Keira Knightly is similarly afflicted, although not quite as badly. Whereas Bloom is a terrible actor confronted with a virtually unplayable role, Knightly is simply an okay actor confronted with a virtually unplayable role.
About the only other actor that stacks up to Depp is Geoffery Rush, but even he can't hold a candle to Depp. He really is just that good. It's one of the great performances of recent Hollywood filmmaking, and it's the only reason that this film developed any kind of positive reputation.
Sure, the whole film is competent, but it's difficult to run a production this monumental and allow it to develop any personality of its own. I appreciate that Gore Verbinski tried, and there are times when this film becomes the rollicking good adventure yarn that you hope it will be, but it's never exactly sustained. All the best scenes end too fast and the worst scenes go on too long. Some of the fights are silly, but without the visual flair that allows someone like, oh, I don't know...Sam Raimi to operate that way.
As a whole, the film is nothing special. It's Johnny Depp's unpredictable and original vision that elevates this movie beyond typical Hollywood filmmaking, aside from being the first pirate movie worth seeing in god knows how long (I'm a big Crimson Pirate fan).
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