Drag Me to Hell

I have this nasty habit of hyperbole, but I think I'll just throw my inhibitions out the window for one second and declare that, by the power of Grayskull, Drag Me to Hell has the GREATEST ENDING OF ANY HORROR MOVIE EVER. I wish I could go into it, but I really don't want to spoil such a fantastic ending for all you dirty, confused little proles that need my recommendation before you see this film.

Now, you know that little cult that floats around Sam Raimi? The one that laments Bruce Campbell's position on the F-list of actors? The one that considers Evil Dead 2 one of the greatest horror films of all time? The one that considers Evil Dead 2 one of the greatest comedy films of all time? I'm one of those guys. Except, unlike the rest of those guys, I love the Spider-Man films. And unlike those guys, I love Spider-Man 3. And I happen to be the only person on the face of the Earth that likes Spider-Man 3.

There's no commercial director that possesses the creative energy necessary to push the action genre to its limit like Sam Raimi. The man could make Spider-Man films for the rest of his career and every one would be better than the last, but no one seems to appreciate the artistry of these films.

But that's neither here nor there. Perhaps I shall review all the Spider-Man films at some point and return to that discussion. For now, my point is that I'm a huge Sam Raimi fan.

While many Raimi fans seem to think that he's a sell-out for not doing horror films his whole career, the only thing that WOULD make him a sell-out is if he did horror films his whole career. It's easy to get good at one thing and do that forever, but it's a great deal harder to tackle so many different genres and styles, including making the most expensive film ever made (at that point), all with varying degrees of success.

But after the (undeserved) critical failure of Spider-Man 3, it was time for Mr. Raimi to show his devotees that he's still got it, that making big-budget action films hadn't sucked his soul out and replaced it with robotic endoskeleton powered by a coal engine modified to be fueled by money. And now that Raimi has shut up all the howling fanboys, he can go back to doing whatever the hell he wants to do.

Look at me, seven paragraphs in and I haven't even started reviewing the actual film. Sometimes I get carried away when I start talking about Sam Raimi.

Drag Me to Hell, aside from having a great title, is one hell of a horror film. At least on par with (if not better than) Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2.

It concerns kindly young Christine Brown (Alison Lohman), a loan officer who makes the mistake of trying to be aggressive in the workplace and ends up being cursed by a surprisingly robust old lady. For three days, she will be haunted and tormented by a demon, and on the third day she will be dragged away by the demon to burn in hell for all of eternity.

Like the Evil Dead films, its atmosphere isn't about creeping out the audience or making the gore-hounds ovaries explode. It's more rousing. The feeling that accompanies this film is the feeling you associate with seeing a great action film rather than the feeling you associate with, say Alien or The Shining or Mulholland Dr.. Raimi's name for this kind of film, a "spook-a-blast" is more than accurate, and really underlines having spent the last seven years making action films, especially in the pacing. I can't think of many horror films that have scenes that can be described as "horror setpieces".

It's a simple, old-fashioned story of an innocent young woman cursed by something otherworldly that she lacks the resources or fortitude to combat, and it's all there for Sam Raimi to let loose all the little things he's come up with since the last time he made a horror film. The film essentially plays as a greatest hits of Sam Raimi's brain, which must be at least partially robotic.

In fact, I'm having a hard time imagining what the pitch meeting must have been like for this. I imagine Sam Raimi said something like "You know how much fun it is to see Bruce Campbell get the shit beaten out of him by demons? What if it was Alison Lohman getting the shit beaten out of her by demons?", at which point the executives gave him several briefcases filled with uncut diamonds and moon rocks.

Let me repeat something that I think is important. This film has the GREATEST ENDING IN HORROR MOVIE HISTORY. If you have no great love for horror films, see it just for the brilliant, balls-to-the-walls ending.

Satan bless you, Sam Raimi.

9/10