What a strange thing it is to ignore a bad screenplay, and not just out of a desire to enjoy the positive elements of a film, but out of the body's natural defense mechanism against sensory overload. But I'm a critic (amateur as I am), and even when my eyes have turned to yogurt in my skull, my instincts pick up on things that my smoothie-brain never could. Sort of like when the hunter realizes that the gazelle saw him come into the forest, and now has him in the crosshairs of his rifle. Yes, Mr. Verbinski, I shall now call you GORE VERBINSKI: CRITIC HUNTER.
That's right, I know your game, and just as I would never end up a trophy above a gazelle's mantle, I won't fall victim to your trap. You've fashioned a pretty movie, Mr. Verbinski, but a film is only as strong as its screenplay, and while you've spent several truckloads of leprechaun foreskins to try and disguise that, you had one fatal flaw in your dastardly plan: the fucking scene with the natives on that goddamn island. Aside from not being interesting, or funny, or in any way riveting or rousing or, fuck, even diverting, it was completely and totally unnecessary. This is a summer blockbuster that's two and a half hours. I don't have any problem with that, but if there are pages of your screenplay that can be used to warm your child's cabbage water, by all fucking means.
Johnny Depp is considerably less interesting in this film because the part was written for him, instead of being a role written for whoever they could find that Johnny Depp took and turned on its head. There's no replicating that. Depp, of course, isn't bad. He's very good, but he's nothing like he was in the first film. Orlando Bloom is about as bad as he was the first time around, and Knightley is roughly as bad. Thankfully, Bill Nighy manages to show up even Depp as the delightfully evil CGI sea devil Davy Jones. It's all in the physicality and voice as he uses a tongue that would only be silver to pirates to try and steal souls and wrestle people into debt.
And at the same time, we have Gore Verbinski, who, in the last film, seemed content to guide along the massive production, taking the reigns and creating a film that's a powerhouse of action, excitement and wonder. Some scenes are so good that they recall the wonder that people used to associate with the word "Hollywood". I'll try not to oversell the film, though. My point is that instead of staging action setpieces, the film manages to do more. It transports and transfixes. The oceanic setting does far more for this film than it did for the first film, and it's always clear that we're looking at a world of magic and mythology. Similarly, instead of just being mindless eye-candy, the action setpieces seem intent to actually rouse and excite us. That means that, aside from the classic Hollywood swashbuckling, there are exciting non-fight setpieces. One of which is a marvelous scene of the Kraken (an ancient pirate myth) destroying a ship as Will Turner (Bloom) tries to escape.
But the best scenes in the film take place on Davy Jones' ship, The Flying Dutchman. Some of the most extraordinary production design and CGI work have gone into turning that ship into a floating pirate's version of Hell, with its barnacle-encrusted crew slaving away for all eternity.
But the film still has a myriad of problems, and as much as those things do to make up for them, they can only hope to counter-balance them. The performances (aside from Nighy) are universally underwhelming, the script is poorly written, it's nowhere near as funny as the first film, it's very sad to watch Depp not quite live up to his own work and there's that FUCKING SCENE ON THAT ISLAND.
That scene is about as exciting as an immunity challenge on an episode of Survivor, and the action takes a woefully misguided turn towards the silly.
I have to say, though, I enjoyed this film, although for different reasons, as much as I enjoyed the first film. It isn't great, but I didn't expect it to be. It's certainly a lot of fun, especially if you get really drunk and pass out for the scenes on that goddamn island.
3 comments:
This film had an excess of people caught in rolling contraptions. However, Bill Nighy's performance and the goosebump-inducing cameo in the film's final moments almost make it worth the ticket. But only once. You're right in saying that Depp's performance is less interesting because it was written for him, but I would also argue that many of the jokes in Dead Man's Chest felt like something out of a bad sitcom - seen coming from a mile away. The preceding scene, even. I kept expecting canned laughter.
This is all, of course, my opinion.
You don't have to qualify things by saying it's your opinion. I know it's your opinion and I appreciate your honesty and feedback.
On a similar note, although not really related, I do like it when people qualify their opinions, as in "this sort of thing appeals to me, so it stands to reason that I would like this movie". It's a great skill that no one cultivates.
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